I have no idea why… It’s kind of like I feel some sort of purpose in my life right now. I feel as if I was put on this planet to do something amazing. Sure, I’d love to become a Rock Star or some kind of famous musician, but I don’t really think that’s it. I feel like I’ve got a duty to the human race itself, as if the world is currently changing and going through a very important period of time. It’s interesting, and not exactly easy for me to understand or explain as I don’t yet fully understand it myself. I’ve been spending a lot of time thinking about it all.
When I was growing up, I had a lot of trouble feeling good about myself. Maybe I had done something in a past life that I still felt guilty for? I don’t really know, but what I do know is that I no longer feel that way. There was always a lingering feeling of self-loathing and spiritual confusion, but right now I feel completely CLEAR. I feel pure and positive and I really love it.
Musically, I’ve been feeling infused with some sort of power… Just the ability to express myself better. In my dreams, lyrics come to me and linger in my head as I make my way through the day… I spend time just trying to bring them back into words I can speak. I know what I’m hearing in my head, but it is sometimes hard to translate them from thoughts into markings on a piece of paper. I’ve been writing so many poems recently… so many blog posts that I haven’t posted… I’m spending all day writing and thinking… I’ve also been noticing things about the world around me that I never had before.
There’s definitely this feeling of CONNECTIVITY to everything around me… The animals, the trees, even the insects that crawl on their six legs putting forth their antennae in search for sustenance. There’s so much movement and so much life around me, and it’s overwhelming, but beautiful at the same time. Sometimes, I can’t handle it (if you’ve ever felt this way, you need to watch the legendary film, American Beauty… One of my favorite movies EVER!!!!). But I love the feeling of vulnerability that I’m currently experiencing… It is not a vulnerable feeling of WEAKNESS… It is a feeling of OPENNESS and ONENESS.
I’ve decided that my first tattoo will be one to signify my newly-discovered ONENESS with the world around me.
So, have any of you been feeling this way recently? I want to know if it’s just me or if it’s something that more people are experiencing. Feel free to comment on any feelings you’ve been having recently :)