On Saturday, I was at Stingaree in San Diego, CA. It was a pretty fun night! haha :) But yeah, I’m not here to give Stingaree a review. I’m here to speak my mind about men and women downtown, expectations, sex, desires, and Moët! Well, mostly men and women. And sex. hahaha That’s kind of just how I ROLL. I’m writing this because I noticed some things about the guys in San Diego’s clubs that probably applies to guys in MOST clubs. The intention is to help them out in a humorous way and helpful way. Ladies, let me know what you think by commenting afterward. There’s a really cute comment box chillin out at the bottom of this post. It’s not as cute as you though ;) Also, please share it with your guy friends, exes, and anyone you meet at a club that isn’t doing it right!
So yeah, I’ve been seeing a lot of guys downtown that are just like shy or creepy. It’s usually not their fault… They just usually don’t seem comfortable in the club or they LOOK like they came to the club hoping to get “lucky”. Personally, I think that going to the club looking for sex is totally a bad idea, but who am I to tell you how to think? All I can do is put my perspectives online and hope you take the time to weigh them against your own. The first perspective that I’d like to present to you is this:
1) If you’re a guy and really want to make any kind of connection, you have to make sure you’re not coming across as creepy or lacking in confidence.
I’m not Hitch or anything, but I think that even a monk sworn to chastity and a life without women would be able to see that being creepy or lacking confidence would negatively affect one’s chances at meeting girls. You’ve got to make sure that you’re not being some undesirable arrogant meat-bag of testosterone either! With alcohol, you might just cross the thin line between those two realms, which could lead to getting slapped. Confidence is important because women don’t EVER need to make the first move. Being confident enough to actually engage with a woman is like the first step in making anything happen… It’s like writing your name on the test; if you can’t do it, you get no credit.
So… It’s time to ask the hard question… what makes you creepy? Well, if you stalk girls around the club, you’re creepy. Here’s an example of this from Saturday. These three REALLY HOT women walked by while I was chilling at a table. Seven guys seriously started following them as if they had just been hypnotized! I just want to make it clear to any of the guys that are reading this that women don’t pay ANY attention to the horde of low-key, shy creeper guys that follow them around the club. They are looking for something that catches THEIR eye… This brings me to my second perspective:
2) Stop being so damn low-key… Be HIGHKEY and make the club the most fun she’s had in a while!
“Why?” you ask confused and shaking. Because women at clubs want to have fun. I know, IT ALL MAKES SENSE NOW! hahaha If you want to meet the cute girls, it really helps to be the one that makes them feel like the HOURS they put into their make-up, hair, and nails WAS WORTH IT. You’ve got to show them a good time. No, that does not mean buy them a bunch of drinks until they are so drunk they can’t say no. I’m talking about dancing, smiling, and using your best personal qualities to woo them into a passionate encounter! Compliment them. It’s not gay or anything to tell a girl that they look good or you like their hair. Gather your courage and ASK someone to dance. Oh yeah, and introduce yourself or something! I think the most disturbing thing is how a lot of guys think it’s all copacetic to sneak up on a girl and start dancing with her without any kind of invitation. Just think about how weird that would be! You’re just chillin’ in your short dress lookin’ sexy and trying to have a good time, when some creeper who probably wouldn’t be brave enough to say “hi” to you decides to rub his crotch all over your butt, usually off-beat… Yeah, it sounds filthy now, huh? And it should still sound filthy no matter how “influenced” you are at the club. You can make it clean and fun though if you put in the effort to at least gesture that you want to dance. You’ll either get a yes or no, which is a helluva lot better than a slap across the face or having drinks thrown at you. I have seen each of these things happen before. *queue the evil laughter*
Fun is what you should be thinking about when you’re at the club. You paid the crazy cover charge and will likely be buying $12-$15 drinks all damn night, so you need to leave the place feeling like you had a good time. If you’re there specifically for sex, you’re at the wrong place. Try a brothel instead. Think about fun, and you’ll end up giving the girls around you a good time, which leads to memories and “good times” ;) Grinding with someone you barely know and/or hooking up is undoubtedly fun, but none of that is going to happen unless you earn it! You might be wondering at this point, “HOW DO I EARN THAT!?” You EARN that by being the dopest dude on the dance floor or by being well-dressed, acclimated, and interesting. I personally think that the best way to go is to be ALL OF THAT.
This guy was pretty awesome and danced with some very cute girls (rather passionately) during the course of the night, probably because he really stood out and tore up the dance floor:
3) Try your best to be aware of your intentions and how the women around you perceive you.
Going to the club specifically to hook up with girls can sometimes be the reason why you end up failing to do so. I’ve experienced that a lot of women can pick up on the intentions in your actions and words. Basically, if you’re giving off an aura of “I WANT TO HAVE SEX” and they are feeling more along the lines of “I DON’T WANT TO HAVE SEX,” then you’ll have some trouble. However, there are some women that will respond well to that vibe because THEY also went to the club looking for someone to hook up with. ;) Yes, there are a lot of women downtown that actually want sex and go to the club specifically to find someone that can make it happen. The advantage lies with the woman though since they are in possession of a very highly valued commodity… No, it is not diamonds. Being able to tell these women apart from others and knowing how to attract these women will likely have a positive impact on your number of random hook ups, if that’s what you’re looking for. I don’t like to call them “one-night stands” because that is, in my eyes, a complete misnomer. Firstly, you are hooking up in the very early morning… Secondly, you are not standing. If anything, it’s an “early-morning lay.” But yeah, not every woman is in the club to get laid or wants you to grope them and stuff, so you should be respectful and classy, and as I said earlier, not creepy.
Guys need to be a little bit classier in my opinion, but I guess that I also need to let go a bit. haha I’m always reluctant to dance with strangers… Like, I have actually said “no” to a couple girls just because I wasn’t comfortable with it and that’s probably because I haven’t really been single in four years. Now that I’ve been single for a little while, I’m just finally starting to explore the single life (not the lonely life) and try new things. One of the things that I have to get used to is dancing with girls that I don’t know. I need to stop thinking of it as being “gross” and start looking at it as simply being fun. That will take some time. haha
Since this is my blog, I’ll just toss some randomness in here. I have finally experienced Moët! After a lifetime of hearing it referenced in music, I can FINALLY relate to the many famous musicians who have sang of Moët’s glory! At some point during the night, I also learned exactly how much money makes up a “stack”. I was dancing to that “stacks on stacks on stacks” song and it made me curious!
So yeah, I’m just going to post those three points again so you can see them before you close this page:
- If you’re a guy and really want to make any kind of connection, you have to make sure you’re not coming across as creepy or lacking in confidence.
- Stop being so damn low-key… Be HIGHKEY and make the club the most fun she’s had in a while!
- Try your best to be aware of your intentions and how the women around you perceive you.
Don’t make it hard for women to believe in love. It just makes it harder for you when you grow up and stop trying to be a player.
Alright ladies and gents, it’s time for me to sign off on this post. I hope that you learned something a got a laugh out of it all :) And if you’d like get crazy on the dance floor in good ole’ San Diego’s clubs, let me know. It’s always a lot more fun with good company :) I’ll probably write another post that’s more focused on my personal experiences in the clubs in a couple days. haha I’ve just been learning a lot about myself recently… It’s interesting. Aww, I’m growing up! haha
– Tommy Maverick