In a couple hours, I’m going to be at Lestat’s Coffee House waiting to play some songs at an open mic… I’ve done it before, but I am a bit nervous. Well, maybe it’s not really that I’m nervous, but just that there’s a lot on my mind right now. I know that I can play my songs and I have practiced enough. I can confidently say that I’m going to do really well… but I guess that I just started thinking about WHY I enjoy doing music so much, which is something I haven’t thought about in a while. It used to be that I made music just to express myself. It was the only way I could deal with the depression that I’ve been battling my whole life. Every word I wrote was a missile. Every chord, a bullet aimed at Depression’s head. I was fighting a war, and that’s why I started this… But now that I’m winning the war, there has to be a shift of priorities; a re-allocation of my resources. I’ve got to see music differently. Music is still a weapon, and it has been since LONG before I existed… I just need to start looking at it as something I can use to influence others.
How can I use music to change people’s lives?
There are so many songs that MEAN SOMETHING to me… Songs that have helped me through things, taught me lessons, made me cry, made me dance, made me want to run away… There’s just so much that music can do, and I want to help music do that. If I’m really successful, it’ll look like music helped ME do that, but I’m really devoted to music itself. Music is my religion. It’s what I want to do for the rest of my life. I want to know everything that I can about it. I want to make songs that mean as much to people as the songs I love mean to me.
Anyway, I just want to thank my friends and family for making me feel super supported right now. I’ve been going through a lot recently and I’ve been feeling really lost and confused. I hate the way that I feel right now, and in order to make up for all these crazy feelings, I’m going to rock that stage tonight, even if it’s just a few songs. It’s the first show in a long line of shows, and I’m ready to do my best.
I’m done wishing. It’s time to shine.
– Tommy Maverick